It’s Friday night, and Olive Garden is jammed packed with people who’re just happy to be off of work for the next few days. As for me, I’m just looking forward to the food. I’ve always been a foodie and anyone who knows me knows that food is the way to my heart; I guess the girl in my inbox figured that out early on. We’ve grown closer within the past couple of weeks, and I’m really starting to get use to the attention she’s showering me with. She’s made her entrance into my world in a bold way and I adored her. Her name is Justice. I couldn’t help but think about how I’ve made the best decision in my life to walk away from my previous relationship, because if I hadn’t I would’ve never gotten the chance to meet such a beautiful soul. As justice and I stood in line waiting for our name to be called, we talked about my future with writing. The night before today we hung out with her family, and I got so drunk that I decided to join the rap cipher her cousins were having to show some of my talents. I always knew I was a talented writer, but I never had the guts to showcase any of my talents until I met her. That night she made me feel like I should be writing lyrics for Nicki Minaj or something; I mean shorty had my head BLOATED. The host called for “Justice Party of 2,” so we followed her towards our table. As we sat down we waited for our waiter. When the waiter approached he was a tall medium complexion slender guy. “Hello, my name is Eric and ill be your waiter for the night. May I start you off with something to drink?” We had already been drinking so we thought why not continue the shenanigans. I ordered a margarita on the rocks with sugar on the rim, while justice ordered a long island iced tea. We continued our conversation over our drink, and I could tell that we both were feeling the affects of the alcohol. The night was going great, and we were ready to order our food.
Our waiter Eric came back over to our table and asked “Are you ready to order your meals yet?” We told him yes, and I began telling him that I want the steak and shrimp combo with a baked potato on the side. I looked over at Justice and I noticed a change in her appearance. Her eyes weren’t as bright as they normally were, and her demeanor seemed to change. I asked her right away if she was okay as the waiter waited for her meal choice. Her eyes were pierced looking directly at me. Her pupils were enlarged and her face was tight as if she had just been possessed. I asked her again if she was ready to order her meal, and then it happened. She snapped. “WHY ARE YOU STARING AT THE WAITER LIKE THAT, YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM?!” The waiter stood there in disbelief, and I sat there confused. I automatically responded “What are you talking about?” The waiter sensed the tenseness and offered to come back when we’re ready. She never looked up towards the waiter. The entire time her eyes were on me, but this wasn’t Justice. Whoever was staring at me was someone I’ve never met before. Without blinking her eyes were still pierced on mine as she said “You were staring at him like you want to fuck him. Is that what you want? I can walk away and you guys can get to know each other a little more.” I was shocked, and I didn’t know how to react to this sudden switch in personality. She went on to say “Don’t ever disrespect me this way; you’ll have me kill someone out here.” I assumed she wanted me to look down when someone other than her was talking to me. At this point I was completely turned off, and shocked. I told her I needed to go to the bathroom, and ill be right back. Needless to say I walked so fast out that damn restaurant and walked my ass home. My fight or flight response kicked in and flight took over. I hauled ass, and I had no intentions on talking to this girl ever again. During the walk back home she called my phone back to back. She sent text messages like “You stupid Bitch. You left me here looking dumb.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid in my life. I admit that I was afraid. Although she had never shown this side of her, I knew that in her line of work she always carried a gun with her. At this point I had no idea what she was capable of. I started to think about how much I don’t know about this girl. I started to question my saneness. Why would I take gifts from someone I barely even know? How could I trust anyone who carries a gun, and more importantly, WHO WAS I SITTING ACROSS FROM AT THE DINNER TABLE?! Either way, I got my ass out of there and made it home.
When I arrived in my apartment I looked back down at my phone. Now the threats have subsided, and she started to text saying things like “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’ve just been hurt so much in the past that it’s hard for me to trust anyone. Please forgive me and please, please, please pick up your phone.” I still ignored her because it was way more than I could handle. Suddenly my doorbell rang and my step brother asked me if I wanted him to make her go away. I told him yes, and he opened the door and told her I wasn’t here. I sat quietly in my room wishing that she would just go away, and I would never talk to her again. She continued to call and text me, but I blocked her number and decided that I would never talk to this girl again. A few weeks went past and I decided to reunite with my ex. It wasn’t long before I realized that going back to my ex wasn’t the right decision. I was once again bored with life and it’s only been 3 weeks. At this time I haven’t gotten any messages or calls from Justice, but I still thought about her frequently. I begin to think about what she might’ve gone through to have so much trust issues. A month went past and I received a message from an unknown person. It was justice using her cousin’s facebook. She wrote,
“Hey, I know you don’t want to talk to me and I completely understand why you wouldn’t. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, and if you never talk to me again I don’t blame you. I would really like it if we could just be friends. It was my own insecurities that made me get so jealous. You’re such a beautiful person, and I just felt so lucky to have you that I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore. If you ever need any money just let me know and ill send it to you. I don’t want anything in return, please. I just want to be friends because no one ever understood me the way you do. Again I’m sorry, and I promise that will never happen again.”
I read the message without responding, but I started to feel bad. I felt bad for not knowing what she may have been through. I thought to myself maybe I can be her friend. Maybe she needs help. Within the next week she sent daily messages saying things like “Good morning beautiful. I hope you have a great day. Any time you need to talk I’m here.” Still, I didn’t respond. I was miserable in my relationship. Here I was young, and tied down playing house with someone I no longer wanted to be with. I made the decision to leave my ex again, but this time I wasn’t going back. I needed to be alone, and I needed to be comfortable with being alone. When I arrived back to my moms’ house I closed the room door, and broke down crying. This was my first time in a long time I was alone. In the midst of the tears flowing I picked up my phone to come across another message from justice.
“Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. My mom wanted to invite you to her dinner at Red lobster, and I hope you can make it. She said she misses you. I hope we can still be friends.”
I thought to myself maybe she really is sorry. Maybe it’ll be okay if we’re just friends because we did have a dope connection. I wrote back and asked her for the time and address; but little did I know this was just another form of manipulation. I was playing right into her game, and I was just too naive to notice it. I got dressed and hopped in the cab to head towards red lobster. This sparked the beginning of a new chapter in my life. The next chapters are covered with blood, sweat and tears. Could I have seen what was coming next; maybe, but for now it feels good to not be alone.
Stay tuned for Part III of THE GIRL IN MY INBOX.
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