The other day I was reminded of the reason I started to blog in the first place. God/Universe speaks to me through my writing. I was reminded of that through anger. I’ve always thought of anger as being my enemy growing up, because any sign of it would automatically put me inside of a box. That box was the “Crazy Box.” I was placed in anger management all through high school, and I couldn’t attend any extra curricular activities if I didn’t make anger management a part of my routine. I didn’t think there was anything “wrong” with me until they started labeling me. My mom put me in therapy to deal with the emotions that seemed unbearable for me to handle on my own. Looking back now; I actually feel sorry for that little girl. I was told that anger is WRONG, which lead me to believe that my pain isn’t Valid. I believed that any emotion outside of being happy is a sign of a deficit. If I showed signs of being sad, I was automatically suffering from depression. When I was angry, I was crazy; and when I bored, I had Attention deficit disorder. These are serious labels that I’ve been labeled my entire life. What happens when you tell a kid something over and over? They start to believe it, and act accordingly.
I thought I was no good growing up, and it followed me into adulthood. I believed I was incapable of making the right decisions, and I convinced myself that I would never be able to succeed in life. But one day, one dark and gloomy day I received a message from the universe. The message was subtle, yet clear. I was never a mistake; there was never anything wrong with me. My enhanced emotions were a gift from the universe to express through writing. Anger is not a flaw; it’s an emotion that should be expressed just like every other emotion. They tell us that if you’re anything but happy, something is wrong with you. We weren’t created with just one emotion; we were created with many emotions, all of which are a valid, acceptable part of being a human being. We’re so much easier to tame when we fall into line. They do a good job at convincing us that not conforming to social norms makes us inadequate. They need us to walk the straight path that they’ve designed for us, in order to maintain control over society. When we don’t conform, they punish us until we get back into line. I needed to reach out because I want to send a message to anyone who has allowed someone’s opinion of them to become their reality. You aren’t what they say you are. When you start to believe what they say, you will slowly start to lose yourself. We enter into this world NAKED AND FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. Your feelings are valid, and it’s also your gift. Use them. Don’t suppress them, but also don’t submit to them. USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. It’s your gift from the universe for a reason. I can’t tell you HOW to use them, but I can tell you that they exist for a reason. I like to believe that my heightened emotions allow me to fill a blank page with passion; which in return will fill many hearts with hope, relief, and love. Again, the message was subtle, yet clear. You were never a mistake; you’re gifted.